He was kidnapped ... Part 2

As it was getting darker, my family members started to lose hope of seeing k again, my dad used to call us from their house every now and then and just say "nothing new", with every phone ring everyone stays silent and freeze.
the phone rang and this time my dad had new news, he told my mom that uncle k finally arrived and they're in their way to our house..
My mom, grandma, sister, brother and I were waiting in the street I was feeling anxious to see him, the adrenaline reached the highest level ever, I could barely stand up on my shaky legs, but this time, it was from excitement …
As we saw the flash lights of the car getting nearer and nearer, I can't explain in words the grateful I felt for god, finally, everyone can relief, or at least that's what I thought ..!!!
When uncle came out of the car he started to hug everyone and weep, I was looking around and everyone was crying, men, women, old and young, I didn't imagine the situation would be that emotional, .. K's daughters started to hug me and cry, I didn't have words to say except " everything is over now".
till now, I don't know how did I hold my tears when I hugged uncle K and his daughters, usually I can't hold my tears when I see someone crying, I think I was in shock.
I'll never forget the view when we got inside the house, K couldn't stand up to reach the sofa he sat on the floor with his daughters around him hugging and crying, this time I couldn't hold my tears..
K started to talk about the long days he spent when he was kidnapped, at that time, I realized that Iraq had reached the bottom, there's nothing worse than the situation we are living in, through my old posts you know about the hard times we went through during the war, and despite that I had hope for a better tomorrow, but the last event that happened to us made me feel desperate.
I know you're wondering how the national guards and police didn't help, what kind of chaos we're living in, we were told by the national guard's when dad denounced about the kidnapping " those people "the kidnapers" are serious , try to negotiate with them, and leave us your phone number" , they don't inspect houses or try to get evidence from witnesses, nor do anything, unfortunately they're fighting to survive not to protect us, all they care about is to stay alive and receive salaries..
We're living by miracles ..
I thought that finally we'll relief, but K's kidnapers gave him couple of weeks to allocate extra 220000$ , it was a shocking news ..
K and his big family stayed in our house for two weeks , when the period was getting over, we felt so afraid, we felt in danger too as they were staying in our house.. we've heard about people got kidnapped in the middle of the night inside their house , and kidnapers throw bombs to explode the house's doors, and such stories, it was like an endless nightmare .. everyday when I go to sleep I thank god that one day passed and we're still alive, and pray the next day we'll survive ..
I was too afraid to dare about thinking what would happen to all of us If K didn't give the money, there were weird faces around our house, and were watching us closely.. that made us in tension all the time, with every time the door nocks, or cars stop near the house uncle shouts everyone stay silent" ."
I kept going to college but couldn't study well, one day as I was in the lecture, the alarm pealed, all students and professors went outside the college, I asked what's going on but no one knew the truth, some said a suicidal will explode himself, others said there's a car bomb, while others said the terrorists will attack the college, the university of Mosul is a huge property contain all colleges and has 8 gates, so there are thousands of students who didn't know what was going on , the gates were closed, except two, so I phoned my relative who's a student but he didn't know what was going on, my parents told me to go with him , it's better not to stay alone, we walked for 2 hours till we reached the house, the roads were closed and there were a lot of police everywhere..
I reached home exhausted and my feet were killing me although I was wearing a flat shoes as usual ..
One Before the final day of interval:
K and his family decided to go to another relatives' house, and we traveled to Baghdad..
on the final day.
"they" called K and threatened to kill him and explode the house but k didn’t have more money neither all his relatives, after hours of negotiation, they accepted to lessen the amount , to 20000 $ and k had to pay !!…
I pray for the day we'll get rid of those terrorists and kidnapers..
To be continued …
Sunshine

He was kidnapped ... part 1.

I didn't publish my diary for such a long time (since 2/10/2010 ) , many things happened and I couldn't have time or concentrate to write a post, thanks for everyone E-mailed me to see how am I doing ..
In the first week 9-16/10 ..
On Friday , we had a family meeting in our house for lunch, we prepared many delicious Iraqi dishes, and we spent lovely time with our relatives ..
then on Saturday I was invited to my friend's wedding party and I spent a great time, and had so much fun, it was the greatest wedding I've ever attended, everything was perfect , they took care of the smallest details, and she looked like an angel, and I love her optimistic spirit and joy, it's such a great beginning to a new section of her life. I wish her and her husband all the happiness.
In the same week my family and I were invited to another party as our friend's son graduated from high school, we had so much fun, their son and I used to play musical keyboard together when we were kids,we share great memories, we don't visit them often because of the closed roads, and war made people busy with their lives, and many forgot about their social life such as visiting friends and doing something out of the daily routine.
I went to two parties and was invited to another two !! I thought four parties in one week, unbelievable, how lucky I am !!
The second week 16-23/10
I was planning to do some shopping on Wednesday preparing for my relatives' wedding.
I was in college talking with my friends about the parties, and how busy I feel as I have to study and go shopping !! I as I was talking I got an sms from my mom saying that my relative k was kidnapped and the kidnapers are asking for an imaginary ransom which he and all of the family can't cover (750000$)!! I had to read the message three times to realize what's she saying , I paused and needed time to realize the problem we're facing…
k is 60 years old with serious heart problem, and was very sick the day he got kidnapped ..
We had a freighting time, I couldn't concentrate in everything, I'd catch a book and realize after half an hour or so that I am reading another subject!
Whenever I find my grandma I see her praying and crying, and whenever I look for grandpa I see him in his room also crying, I tried to stay around grandpa and watch him, because his health wasn't well, he couldn't even walk alone ..
The situation in k's house was horrible, his 5 daughters were just weeping and crying, we thought we'll never see him, we don't own that much of money to release him . my dad and grandpa stayed with them every day, we were all praying at day and night.
Third week 23-30/10
The kidnapers at first gave us three days to prepare the money, or they'll kill him..
K's brother in law was the negotiator , as someone need to talk with kidnapers and try to lessen the money they ask for, and ask to extend the time we have.
Negotiating with outlaws is very difficult specially if they were savage and rapacious , they used to call and say how they're going to hurt him , or ask us to search for his dead body in a certain place, and such things.
One day left, and the negotiations didn't lead to any deal .. K's son asked us to collect as much money as we can, my dad and mom started to call our relatives even the far ones, and call our friends, and I started to E-mail our relatives abroad, and my mission during the kidnapping time was to talk with our relatives abroad who were so worried.
My grandpa knew "they" were asking for a lot of money, but he didn't understand how much does that equal in Iraqi dinars, well , I had to lie (white lie), I used to catch the calculator and pretend to use it and say that we are close to the money they want to make him feel better, and he believed that , but the truth is we weren't even close to less than quarter of the amount.
Each second pass maked our heart beat faster and faster, and the chance of losing uncle was getting higher, we were praying for a miracle..
Sometimes, the kidnapers would call, and other times they wouldn't , leaving everyone in tension, leaving the whole family sitting quietly waiting for a ring tone , and no one knew if uncle was still alive, or we're negotiating over a dead man (like my mom's uncle M, the negotiations lasted for 3 days, but he was dead, we found his body in the morgue)..
I was worried , I can't deny, but I had so much faith in god, he can save uncle from the hands of those killers , but it was hard not to be emotional .
I'd put my head on the pillow at night, and start to wonder, is k hungry? Are they beating him ? is he even alive ? will I hear his loud laugh again ? the whole family is standing with each other, supporting and comforting each other , but who's comforting him? And a lot of wonderings and tears , then I start to say "No" , this is not the faith I should have in such time, god is by his side, grading and protecting him .. it is like a battle between my heart and my mind, my heart wants me to cry and be weak, while my mind orders me to be strong and believe that god is going to protect us all.
When they called, the negotiator "N", told them we don't have that much of money, the kidnapers told him that they're going to kill K, N replied "may god bless his soul" , and ended the conversation , they didn't call for hours, what a long hours they were for us ..
It was a miracle when they accepted to lessen the amount of money, they had two choices either to kill K and get nothing, or release him and take whatever we have .. the amount still huge, but we could afford it , everyone participated even far relatives gave a lot of their saving ..
We paid the money, and The kidnappers said K will be released at noon..
My grandpa felt really glad, the family decided that it's better if k and his family come and spend few days in our house..
my mom, grandma, and I started to cook for lunch, we made many dishes feeling excited and anxious to see K, then we started to wait in the garage, the lunch time came and nothing happened, and we waited for hours and hours, at 5 pm we went inside the house , we didn't have desire to have lunch, grandpa went out and kept waiting in the garage.. the sun started to set, and it started to get darker, and night fall..
grandpa went to our neighbor they talked something , then grandpa came to the house took a blanket and torch with him and left, without saying a word, we knew he was going to search for him..
we've heard stories, kidnapers would take the money and kill the person, grandpa started to look for his brother's body in the streets, and garbage containers with his heart full of sorrow and feeling terrified that he may find the body of the brother he raised like his son , a series of old memories came to grandpa's mind, when his brother started to walk and grow up, get marry and have kids, grandpa was heartbroken, I'd never seen him in such misery .. my mom called Doctors she know but they assured her that they didn't receive a body with those descriptions in the morgue ..
the time was passing slowly this time, I sat on the stairs in our garage looking at my watch and feeling a strange shake in my legs , with every second our hearts were filling with more fear of what's going to happen next, is like we were in a horror movie and we want to reach the end quickly , will k come back safe? Or … I didn't want to think about another option, I was praying for god to give us and my grandpa strength to tolerate ..
To Be continued …
Sunshine

Eid mubarak

Eid mubarak

I'm spending Eid in Baghdad with my grandparents, I've been so busy last month, a lot of things happened which I'll write a long post about as soon as i can.

i thought i'd publish a short post to let you know that i'm ok, since i started to receive a lot of E-mails from my dear readers who started to get worry because of my long absence ,thank you all for your concern

Sunshine

Livesstrong92@yahoo.com

Livesstrong92@gmail.com

A quarter engineer!

Finally, I finished my second turn exams, and now I am enjoying 6 days of holiday , I want to do all things I wanted to do in the summer holiday, so I feel busy !
I went shopping three times, had a new hair cut, went to a party, and I am reading a great book "enjoy your life" which was a gift from Dr. versatile to my mom (thanks Dr.)
And I have other plans, like making a dramatic change in my bedroom, invite my relatives to lunch, and go to the gold market which is like a tradition I have before starting a new academic year, the majority of my savings are dedicated for buying golden jewels (bejeweled and treasury), I enjoy wearing them and whenever I need money in the future I can sell them. It is such a great way for saving.
Although I didn't have a holiday in the summer, but I actually feel excited to start a new academic year, each day is a new step to achieve my goal in the currier I chose, now I am a quarter engineer!
Only few people I know chose to study engineering , the majority of students attend it because of the marks they got in the pacaloria exams.
The reason why people prefer medical colleges is, they can get a job, while so many Iraqi engineers are unemployed, but when I was thinking about this huge decision my best friend madcanuck encouraged me to chose engineering, because I'd rather find difficulty and delay in finding a job for a currier I love, than getting a job easily in a carrier I don't like. And I prayed a lot to make the right decision, even if engineering is the most difficult college here, and our professors are so stiff and try to make us feel hopeless , but it worth it, and I have no doubt about what kind of life I planned to..
A week ago, I was studying for my last exam, and I felt so bothered because of the annoying kids in my neighborhood who were kicking our garage door , I was looking through the window, and missed my old neighborhood before the war, the old neighbors, and old spirit, it was a classy place, now it is like a village!
I remember waking up on Friday, before the war, and my grandpa was preparing to clean the street in front of our house, and I decided to help him, another neighbor saw us and gave a hand of help, then the other did the same and so on, in a short time all neighbors went out and we all worked together, cleaned the street, and then my grandpa started to pick of the fruit in our garden and other kids offered to help, and grandpa gave them fruit in return , and after that we played with bicycles.. now, those kids are collage students, and they left the neighborhood ..
So many neighbors who were professors, doctors , engineers were threatened and sold their houses, as well as the Christian neighbors.. we're still in touch, but the neighborhood will never be the same after they left .. we want to leave this neighborhood, but grandpa doesn't want to, he says he have memories in every corner of this house, he designed it and built it, and he's not leaving no matter how hard we try to convince him!
Enojoy your neighborhoods,
Sunshine

Only few hours vacation ...

Ramadan Kareem to you all..
May this peaceful month, brings it's blessings and mercies to Iraq, may the bloodshed stop, and may all Iraqis live in peace .. it is the month where Muslims in my country fast, don't eat nor drink anything from 3:30 am, till 7 pm ..
This order from god make us appreciate god's blessings and feel the paupers' feelings, understand their suffering so that we always remember to help them.
Fasting in Iraq is not like fasting in other countries, first the temperature is so hot, and we don't have electricity as you know, beside the very high prices for food, oil, and everything .
I do like Ramadan, it's the month that Muslims dedicate themselves to god more than any other time, read al Quran, and pray, so it is a religious month..
And it is a generous month, when people help others, prepare al Futoor (the meal when we break our fasting) to those in need ..
and it's a forgiving month, god forgive the people who've done mistakes if they truly regret it, and also people should forgive each other before Ramadan starts, they shouldn't start fasting and they have feud toward each other .. so, it is the month of all good manners that Muslims should have during the whole year, it is a reminding month..
I feel tired, emotionally and physically because of studying, students need rest, that's why we have the "summer holiday' but apparently students in engineering collages can't rest!
Sometimes I wake up feeling well, other times upset and bored from studying..
I miss doing my hobbies, I miss reading, doing handmade work, cooking, playing musical keyboard, or just giving my brain a rest,sometimes I spend like an hour or so doing things I can, but this makes me feel even more upset that in this vacation I couldn't do any of those more often..
I miss writing to you more than anything else, but I promise to write after my exams .. I really need your prayers!
********************************************
Before Ramadan started, we went to the north, to Dhook , in a picnin, we spent really lovely time, first we had breakfast in Sararash (summer resort), the weather was cool in the morning.
Then we went to Ashawa ..
we went there many times, it has a great waterfall , I could feel the spray of water when I stand up away from it, this year when I got their and looked at the "waterfall" it was like if someone was pouring a bucket of dirty water !!
But we had a nice time, because a group from Baghdad came ..they danced , swam, and played music….


Then, we went back to Dhook .
There, we had lunch in a restaurant called "shandokha", and went to Dhook dam, Mazy mall, and Dream city, and also we made a surprise to my father, we bought a cake and went out to the park singing "happy birthday" .
I had a nice day, out of the daily routine , I hope all cities in Iraq be as northern part safe, clean, and have a better service like electricity, water, and traffics !! we deserve a better life, we have the will to change the situation, to rebuild our country, the only thing we need is a good government that don't work against its citizens , the one that cooperate with us and invest the sources of Iraq instead of stealing it ..
Let's hope for a better tomorrow ..
Sunshine..

Second turn for the first time..

I came back from Baghdad couple of weeks ago, after spending two weeks in my grandparents house, my grandma had sever disk prolapse , and she couldn't leave her bed for a month and half, and still she must stay in her bed for other two months..
So I spent the whole time doing housework , cleaning and cooking, I improved my cooking skills!!! , we also went shopping three times, and once we went to a nice park where my brother and sister played , it was a nice time ..
I've always loved Baghdad, I had the best memories ever there, and it's painful to see Baghdad in this dramatic change, weird faces, different language , weird costumes, and odd traditions!!.
the Shiites had a ceremony weeping on Al kadhem who died 1400 years ago or so while we were in Baghdad !! They walk to his cist for hours, and days !!
They are free to do what they believe in UNLESS this starts to affect our lives and make us feel so angry towards their own traditions.. they have a special ceremony like this (almost every month), each one last for a week or so, the situation becomes awful, closed streets, dirts everywhere (cans, food, water bottles everywhere in the streets, as the food is for free !!) , adding to that loud DJ, black flags which effect the view on Baghdad, life stops, the shop owners have to close their shops, and people (like ourselves who do not participate) become prisoners in our houses as it is impossible to go out .
While we were in Baghdad we went shopping, concrete walls are everywhere , and behind them, the lovely Baghdadi shops , anyway, at 10:30 pm, we got in a shop which had really cool clothes, my mom, my sis, and I bought several cloths from that shop and stayed in for about 40 minutes or so, anyway when we left the shop , the view was shocking behind the concrete walls, no customers, no cars, although everything was normal about an hour ago.
The soldiers began to close the streets with barb wires after we arrived, preparing for their "religious traditions" which was after few days ..
A Shiites soldier saw us walking, and calling my grandpa who couldn't find a way to take us back home, he said " we'll not allow your cars to enter this street anymore! It will be for mawakeb only (for the people who'll share in the ceremony)" I really wanted to punch him ..
We walked for awhile, and then we found one cap , we reached our home safe but shaking, with lots of clothes!!
I really hated walking over the cans and water bottles, I want to walk in the clean Baghdadi streets, and see the educated people back, it is sad to see this ignorance in the place I love.
*************************************
So, my summer holiday started, but it is not like the one I planned for, I'll have to repeat 5 exams, as a second trial .. it was shocking for me!! Only 7 students passed from the first trial, people say it is normal in engineering collage!
My friend saw one of the students who passesd and told him " my marks are higher than yours, and I did much better than you in exams, you couldn't answer half of the questions, how did you pass ??"
He replied "it,s … wasta my friend, you need one! (means influence )
It is so unfair, we study at day and night, sometimes I walk for too far collages if I have a question as our professors are not well qualified!
My grandpa went to my collage, to object on the results, there, a professor introduced himself to grandpa who was a friend of his father in low, this professor doesn't teach us, but he's known of his kindness .. my grandpa told him it is a shame that 90% of the students will attend the second turn , and he took him to the hall where the students were gathering, and grandpa said "look at the angry students, and the crying girls, don't you think they are anxious to study enough, that they are in such sorrow?"
He replided, " you know uncle, the students on the first class weren't lucky enough, their teachers are revenging from them, they are Bathies (saddam supporters) and also they are not qualified to teach , they actually show up of their low ratio of success, ask your granddaughter not to feel sad, she doesn't even need to study more to succeed , I know her, she's one of the best students"
I've met many professors who teach in different engineering collages, and as soon as they heard about the names of professors who teach us they either say " they are sico (sociological patients " , or " God be with you" , or such things .. the professors give the students who have a big wasta (influence ) high marks, I refuse to get high marks even if I deserve them just because I am from a well known family, or I have someone important in my family, so I never write my family name, because I hate to be one of those
Anyway, I'll do my best and see what's going to happen .. my friends and I are taking additional lessons, but the streets are so crowded as a bridge in mosul was closed (huge cracks, because of the tanks and explosions), and another bridge also has huge cracks but they couldn't close it !
*************************************************************
A week ago , we went to my relatives house, their twin daughters passed the third class secondary school with good marks, and one of them got the highest marks in her school, I saw a lot of relatives whom I didn't see for long time (last time I saw one of my relatives was in her engagement party, now she has two kids!!!), we had the best time ever and danced a lot, we really needed to spend such a good time , out of our daily routine..
Also few days ago, my relative and dear friend H, gave birth a very adorable baby girl, she talked to me about the hospital ,she said " I was yelling because of two things, pain and cockroaches " what a happiness ! she even refused to stay in hospital after her surgery, she felt afraid that her daughter may get sick because of the dirt and contamination ..
I may not write that much, as I am busy studying, but I'll write whenever I can ..
Finally, I'd love to congratulate my friend HNK and her fiancé for getting engaged, may their live be full of happiness and pleasure ..

Sunshine

Writing to you from baghdad .

Hello .

I couldn't write for long time, I have been so busy with my final exams, and now I am in Baghdad, I am going to spend two weeks in my grandparents house, my grandma is sick and I have no time to work on internet, as I have to clean and cook and make sure she's feeling comfortable ..

I have a lot to tell you about, and I will as soon as I have time ..

Sunshine

Stop the bloodshed..

We didn't have internet connection for about a week, because of a sandstorm two weeks ago, and I have a very busy schedule as our final exams will be on 27/5, I feel like a big part is missing which is "Free time"
The situation in Mosul is horrible, The terrorists attacked the Christian students in their way to collage, some were killed and others were injured, it was shocking news, and we all felt so worried about our Christian friends and classmates .
Since the election, the terrorists forced the Christians to leave Mosul, the majority left to the nearby villages, and every day they come to work, school, and try to live their daily lives, but with a heart full of fear..
My neighbors left Mosul, leaving behind a big space in neighbors' hearts, we call them constantly, they come from time to time to take necessary things from their house, and couple of days ago, their dad came to say hello and brought a nice jasmines bouquet ..
My next door neighbors are still hiding in their home, they went to Syria for three months and then came back, we talk from the fence, and our sight are always directed to their door, watch who's in and out, whenever we see someone knocking their door, we open our door and watch silently, this make them feel more secured, to know the neighbors are watching their back .. we visited them last week, a life like this is truly unbearable, they can't go to work, shop, whenever the bill rings they expect the worse .. I have deep sorrow.. their daughter got married last Friday, without a celebration or a party, her husband picked her up and they went to the north, it is safer for them.
All of that is happening while the politicians fight each other, and try to take over the incumbency..
Every day in my way to collage, my heart ache to see the black sings carrying names of the young people who were killed " 'by a perfidy action", some are Christians , and others are non, no one deserve to die like that..
I wonder for how long this situation will last, we did reach the bottom, and I wish there will not be worse situations, although every day I say "it can't be worse" and in the next morning I wake up trying to feel optimistic and then find the day even worst ! ..
At last, I can't do anything but praying to god, may he protect Iraqis, and Iraq, may he bless the souls of the martyrs and give their families and friends the patience, and heal the wounds of the injured Iraqis …
May the bloodshed stop, and may peace come soon ..
Sunshine

Hanging out with friends ..

I had a lot of fun in the last week, despite the fact that our exams are next week and still we find huge difficulty in understanding our subjects, or even pass our exams and quizzes .. everytime we have an exam we all get low marks (mostly zero), but it's very common in the engineering collages here.
Anyway, on the first of march, we celebrated the university day in Mosul, it's supposed that we don't attend lectures, but our professors insisted on examining us, we had a practical exam and two theoretical exams, and for the first time, I did well and finished at 10 am ..
In The university day, I felt like I am in another world, there were students dancing everywhere, loud DJs, students wearing folkloric Iraqi clothes, and galleries.
Then, lovely Najma, invited me to share her graduation happiness, so I spent a lot of time with her and her collage-mates, who walked around the university wearing their graduation robes, singing, and dancing all the way long, it was fantastic ..
Later, I returned to my lovely collage, hoping that within 4 years, I'll enjoy my graduation party, and invite her to celebrate with me.
Last week, I had a picnic with my collage to Mosul dam, we had lots of fun, even in the road, the guys kept dancing and dancing in the bus. Then we went to the electricity generation station which is amazing, and then to a nice place near the lake, were we had lunch, then rented a boat (which is my favorite part), we played with water, and we were
completely wet after all!! We took pictures, videos, and played Frozbie , we had the most amazing time together.
Also last week, my classmates and I, visited the museum , the public library, and the books' gallery..
Last Saturday, we had a party, my dad cousin's engagement party, so last week was good, and I hope the coming days will be even better..
I'll have my exams next week, so I may not be able to write often ..

wish me luck.
Sunshine

I Voted ...

Today is the election day, I woke up to excited, and full of hope.. my grandpa, grandma, and dad voted early in the morning at 7 am.. then my mom and I went to the election at about 9 am ..
My heart was beating fast, as I entered the room, it is my first time..
I was expecting to see so many people walking in their way to vote, but there were only few people, I was frustrating, but it is still early , and the election will last till 5 pm.. hopefully those who decided not to go, will change their minds..
How many times we think about ourselves, the things we need to do and use the term "I" in the day? It will be great if people say "Iraq"instead in this day, and put the benefit of the community before theirs, because there's nothing in this day more important than voting to build a better future for us and for our families..
All of my relatives in Baghdad and Mosul, inside Iraq and abroad voted, as well as my friends , even those who hesitated to go, decided to vote after I urged them..
I am so proud of all Iraqis who voted and will…
Sunshine.

The 7th of march ...

The elections will be on Sunday, the 7th of march , as I became 18 years old ,I'll be able to vote for the first time, if there won't be any cheating, then my voice will be important, and may make a difference, so I searched in the web and read about the candidates , it is every citizens' responsibility to think and make some research before electing. So I hope and pray that al_ Iraqia list will win , maybe if they win , Iraq will be safer and better place, the candidates there are better than the candidates in other parties, they are more educated , and from original Iraqi families who have loyalty to Iraq not any other country, as well as I support the laity party..
We are just tired from living in horror , we don't want to lose more people we love, this war was bloody and I just want it to end and be a bad memory in my life .. I wonder if my relatives abroad will come back, I didn't see my only aunt for 5 years, and my cousins doesn't know me.. Iraqis want their lives back… I can't wait till the day I'll wake up and open the curtains in my room and see life in my neighborhood again instead of a ghost city, I can't wait till the day that we'll remove the wood we placed over the windows, I wonder always if I and all Iraqis will ever feel relief.. I have so many hopes and plans for that day, wonder when will it come ..
I want to hear good news about rebuilding my country, the developing and improving in economy, not how many people who were killed..
The situation is so bad in the city, about three weeks ago, the Christian started to get threatening messages to leave to the countryside, the terrorists began to kill Christian guys, old men, women, they spread the fear among this peaceful Iraqi cast.. some Christians left the city, others decided to stay as they have jobs, schools, and also felt afraid to leave their house along, as last year the terrorists exploded their empty houses.. the ministries announced orders in the beginning not to give any Christian a leave, so many Christians were killed in their way to their jobs or universities.
A new engaged guy was killed, a man in his sixties, a woman was killed inside her house and in front of her son, collage students we killed, 3 men from the same family were killed inside their house, and many others. Those events broke our hearts, and the government didn't take any serious reaction to protect this Iraqi peaceful cast. But the previous decision was canceled the Christians got an open time leave from their jobs.

Why? why did that happen? Who's behind forcing the Christians to leave?
Political parties fight each other, and the victims are those innocents.. all of that murders and frightening was because of the election, to force the Christians to go to the countryside , and ban them from participating ..
What makes me so angry and so frustrated is, when there is a "weeping ceremony " the country become in an emergency situation, so many soldiers and a very serious secured procedures is taken to protect the Shiites ,. While the government didn't ensure the safety of the Christians who only wanted to continue their daily lives, go to school, or work normally , it is so unfair ..
I was getting ready for college and my neighbors called us, they had to leave the house, it was a very painful view when they brought the keys of their house , their car was full of pillows, clothes, and their stuff, their mother gave us the key will eyes full of tears..
My other next door neighbors also gave us their house's key and money, and left the city ..
My Christian classmates left the city, as well as the students who came from other cities had to go back home, the national guards told them to go home a week before the election!! so my other class mates and I decided to stop going to collage until the Christians and the students from other cities come back (solidarity).
Sunshine

I am eighteen ...

Last month, I had my midyear theoretic exams, they were really hard, and as these were the first exams we have in college we were in shock!
The professors said it is very common in engineering colleges , but I felt really frustrated, because I used to take high marks always in high school.
We still didn't get used to the way our professors explain, and in mathematics we face a huge difficulty as the professor abbreviated 14 lectures to one!! So we didn't understand a word, and I went to the Dean with few students and postponed the exam after many trials to convince him.
My holiday was fine, I spent the first week in Mosul, I had 9 homework of geometrical drawing, I spent two days working on them for 12 hours till I finished them, you can't imagine how my back was killing me by then.
On Friday 29/1 I celebrated my 18'th birthday, my friends visited me and we had a nice celebration and a great time, during supper my English high school teacher called to wish me a happy birthday, so I told her I have a surprise and opened the speaker, my friends and I said "HELLO MISS", she was so happy to speak to her previous students, I am the only one who's still in touch with her, we had really nice conference.
Age 17 was great, I achieved one of my biggest dreams which is going to the college I love, and I made my parents more proud.
I got rid of my night bruxism, and I feel less tensioned than before, and I am working on being more relaxed.
I experienced many things that made me stronger in person, as well as left an impression that will stay in my heart forever.

I am more mature than last year, and I look at many things in a new prospective, it is a normal thing of course, but it is amazing how one year in human's life can has such an effect on his personality .. the biggest lesson I learned was it is ok to make mistakes sometimes, as long as I learn from them , and it is better to be good in many things, than being perfect in one field, the things I got though taught me a lot, and I am really grateful and thankful for god for keeping me and my family alive and safe..
My wishes for my 18year , is having a good health, and seeing my family and mom having a happier, safer life, and enjoying their health, I also want to publish my book, it is a long journey ! but my book is in the final stage (I hope), I also want to succeed from the first trial in collage.. I am planning to learn driving, and get a license..
Now , as I am 18, I can vote although my voice will make no defference!!!, I'll do what I can to make this country a better place. I know many people are frustrated and some will not participate in voting because there are a lot of cheating in results, but as Ghandy says " you should be the change you want to see in the world" , I can't fix Iraq, but I can be a good citizen do my duty, it is my job.. I really wish to live a peaceful life this year ..
I wished for so many things before I blew my candles, but the first wish was living in peace, I wonder how many times will I blow the candles and wish the same before having a free, peaceful country!!!

On Saturday I went to Baghdad, my mom had an appointment with the doctor, and thank god , her health is fine now .
In Baghdad I celebrated my birthday again with my grandparents, we spent a nice time ..
My brother had a high fever , so we didn't go anywhere except in the last two days..
On Wednesday , we had lunch in a lovely restaurant in al Rubaii street (my favorite place in Baghdad), and we also went shopping , and then we went to a nice park , my brother and sister played , we enjoyed our time so much ..
Then in the next day, we went to the zoo and a place called " Al Zawraa", it has nice gardens and a lake, it is the first time we see al Zawraa.
Baghdad was empty this visit, the Shiites were in karbala as they have ceremonies there, that's why we took this chance to go out, see al Zawra! The streets were empty.
What was weird is the so many signs and flags in streets, those ethnic traditions came to Iraq after war, it is painful to see the country in this way.
The funniest thing is when we went to al Zawra we saw many people calling their relatives and saying " you will not believe?! Al Zawra is almost empty, there are only respectful families with their kids, take the chance and come" .. people avoid going to al Zawra because the majority who visit it are from rotten level in our community ,although it's nice place with beautiful nature..
We saw many families from mosul, and the journey was perfect .. a woman said to me " we'll come to al Zawra, every year like this time!!"
Then, on Friday, we had lunch in my relatives house, and the supper at the restaurant ..
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This week in college was nice, I did well in mathematics, and we had some break time, the weather is cool and I spent lovely time with my friends, one of my friends "N" got engaged, frankly I find it weird as she's only 19, but she's glad and this guy loved her since she was in high school, so I am happy for her..
Her engagement party will be after the election, so we are excited..
Sunshine