Just finished my final exams ...

Hello all,
I just finished my final exams, and I feel exhausted!! Thanks a lot for your comments, E-mails and concern, I am doing fine now, I know I am not writing much often, but there's no break nor free time in engineering college!
I am also busy these days preparing to go to Baghdad , but I'll write as soon as I can …
Sunshine

miscellaneous...

I miss writing posts and doing my hobbies, college is taking all my time,
So, in the first week of march, we had a picnic to the Dam of Mosul with the university, I had so much fun, it takes about an hour to reach the Dam of Mosul, to the way there the guys were singing and playing music and then when we reached the first thing we did is going near the water and taking a lot of photos, then we rented a boat (my favorite part), and we had a nice tour in the area, and came back wet and freezing , then we had lunch I brought beef-burgers, roast (spiced meet with vegetables), cake, and the girls and guys also brought Dolma, chicken, Biryani, macaroni , and other dishes ..
After lunch, we played tennis, and frozbie , and the professors joined us! Even the chef of the department .. and after that the guys played football against the professors who seemed nice (the first time ever I see them friendly)
We reached Mosul at 5:30 pm, and the driver was supposed to pick me at that time, but he was late and it started to rain heavily , my friends and I were freezing and wet in the street but we enjoyed it and laughed at our "new look"..
In The second week I experienced a new adventure! the driver's car broken-down in the middle of the street! And I felt "lucky" at the beginning to see a relative of mine and grandpa just behind us , so I got in to my relative's car and thought he'd happily drive me to college as it is on his way , but he ignored me and drove me to faraway place with grandpa , grandpa made few phone calls and he said a car is in the way to take me to college (lucky me), and I saw a silver modern car driving towards us, and I asked" this is the car right ??" grandpa said "no, the green one", but I didn't see a green car, I saw a green lorry, I thought grandpa is joking, I mean going to college in a Lorry ??? no way, my prestige !!!
But he won, and thank god I reached before anybody else !
(the university of Mosul is very big establishment in the middle of the city , it has 8 gates leading to many neighborhoods, that's why I couldn't walk to my college)
In the third week on march I got really sick, I had laryngitis and asthma attacks, my voice gone for few days (can you imagine how hard is it for me not to talk ??!!!) and I went to the Dr. who gave me a lot of medications, I feel better now ..
My second term exams will start soon, and I am preparing for them and doing the best I can, I feel very busy and tensed especially I have to make 4 reports this week and made a schedule for all subjects to study them well before the exams ..
wish me luck ..
Sunshine

Determined to change ..... The Friday of anger and the palm's revolution

I had my midyear exams, the questions were incredibly hard, and some even contain mistakes, I feel worried about my marks, and I feel worried about the finals already!!
**********************************************************

The demonstrations of Iraq is today Friday the 25th. The government sent their assistances to al Tahreee yard, they attacked the citizens as they were asleep and stabbed them with knives and ordered them to leave . But they didn't give up and Iraqis are determined to stay and demand our rights.
As well as al Maliki's supporters wanted to carry Saddam's photos in order to frustrate the demonstrations by pretending that those remonstrators are the followers of the ex-regime !
Al Sistani announced that it is forbidden to participate in these demonstrations but the Shiites didn't listen and a citizen on Tv said "we're not going to listen to whatever Al margi' announce, we're participating" , I hope that from now on people will not be effected by the those who speak in the name of religion ..
Now I am writing and watching the news about the demonstrations in Iraq, today is called "the Friday of anger" and this revolution is named al nakheel's revolution "the palms revolutions "
The Iraqi citizens went through a lot, so they went out to the streets to demand and protest inspite of danger and government's threats, they have nothing to lose more, the old people and the young, men and women are participating and walked a lot to reach the place where citizens are gathering as we have curfew …
My father's two cousins participated in Mosul revolution although we're worried about them, in Mosul the police started to shoot at the citizens and 5 were injured , I can't wait till I hear the alive story from my father's cousins..
The greatest thing is , people's intension is not to make coias or destroy , we're not like the politicians, the people are caring roses and green branches, and shouting "peace" … as well as other great sentences that made me realize we still have heroes..
Now I am listening to people's demands in freedom and jobs, and also hearing their stories that made my heart ache, a woman said 7 years ago the police took her 18 years old son, and she didn't see them since that time, and she's hoping this revolution will settle the justice and innocent people will get out of jail .. and another women said she didn't get her retired salary for 4 years, she worked for 22 years , and now she deserve a good life ..
Another pleasing thing is, people prayed "Freday's prayer" together in Al Tahreer in baghdad , Sunnis and Shiites together and they shouted " we're brothers Sunnis and Shiites and we're not going to sell this country ", the same thing happened in Sulaymania when Kurds and Arabs prayed together .. the citizens are united, it is the government that try to separate us and extend cultic , but it's not going to happen, no matter how tricky and pity plans they make..
I pray for a new hopeful future, and today I am proud of Iraqis, I know how great people we have here, and how much the Iraqis endured not only through the last 7 years, but since Saddam took control ..
I've been watching the news lately, and all the Arabian countries are witnessing panic .. especially Libya and the savage ways of al Kaddafi in order to stop the demonstrations , I have relatives is Libya and we were so worried about them, aunt said that al Kaddafi hired mercenaries to kill the citizens who are against him..
there's no freedom nor ministrations in the Arabian countries, and in Iraq especially, but I don't believe that after years and years of silence finally the people realized that !!! and started a demur against the rulers, there must be an interference from a third part that inflamed the revolution, but still I hope this will be in our advantage, and not a plan to make the Arabian countries reach the bottom.
I wish that the Arab countries become strong and people and refuses to be under the rule of dictators and have such courage to stand up against them and have freedom just like the old old times when the Arabian countries were united and were one big nation, it was so developed and strong , and we had justice and were years and years ahead than western countries in all kind of sciences and inventions , and medicine etc.. it hurts me a lot because I am Arab and I wish I can do something myself to change the situation, I wish we can start to say "WE ARE" instead of " WE WERE" ..
we must stop live in the shadow of the past and realize that people may not be aware of how great nation we were, but they definitely know how weak our nation is now .
Is it true that now after long years people woke up ?? or it's another illusion and plan to make Arabian countries reach the bottom so that other countries take control ??

God bless everyone doesn't accept iniquity and suppressing and demand of rights ..

update at 7:30 pm ..

the police are shooting the citizens, some were injured and others died, but the demonstration will not stop to day ..

update at 4:30 , 26/2

we've heard from people in baghdad that the police and national guards put concrete walls in the majority neighborhoods of baghdad and closed all theirs roads, and thousands of people were forced to go home and couldn't participate in the demonstration , some tried to derail the concrete walls and force their way in, but the police behind those walls started to shoot and didn't allow them to leave their neighborhoods .if people were allowed to go out and share in the demonstrations it would last for days ..

Sunshine.

To be updated with the latest news …

My 19th Birthday ...

Today I celebrated my 19th birthday with my family members, we made a small party together, sang "happy birthday", then I made a wish and blow off my candles ..
as I am having exams and my friend's cannot come, I'm going to postponed the big party after the exams …
Wow, I look back to age 18, a year passed carrying good and happy events, as well as hard times that made me stronger, more independent, and more experience to face the future …
I have a lot to be thankful for.. I thank god for protecting me and my family , giving us health, pleasure, and keeping us together..
And I thank my mother for being such a great model for me, and for supporting me and guiding me to be a good , kind and successful person ..
Each year, I remember the experiences I got through , and what I've learnt as a whole year passed in my life ..
Now as I am 19 years old lady ,I have different perspective and thoughts than a year ago and more confidence in myself, and also excited to start another year , I feel like I stared to put the basic steps to build my own life in the last two years, starting of my decision to study engineering…
So, what do I know more than any time before ??
I realized that, satisfaction is not when I have everything I want, it is when I feel happy about everything I have .
And my value as a person is not measured with the things I own, in fact when people value themselves depending on material things and they are humiliating themselves.
,they are in their lives, I realized that to be happy and successful doesn’t mean I have to believe in my models' thoughts or live like their lives to achieve the same, but, I can have my unique way to succeed and add their experiences to mine, and learn from their patience and strength ..
I realized that Simplicity is everything ..
I realized that, when I have a family and good health, then I have everything..
And when my mom is pleased about me, then I am the happiest person ever ..
Happiness come from ourselves as well as misery, sometimes unexpected things happen and I can turn them to a good ones by my attitude..

I realized that, my past made me who I am, but my thoughts and believes will determine my future, and I can't have experiences unless I have the bravery to try new things ..
I realized that when I plan for my life, it's better to put standers and qualities than timing-schedule, because sometimes opportunities come in unexpected times …
Appearances is just an illusion, people take care of small details and material things to hide ,or to take sights away from their imperfection, or be loved ,accepted , and get along with others , so they copy each other which I call "blind apery" , such people I don't care about their thoughts… when I know inside my heart that I am right then I should be committed to my principles..
I can't succeed and feel tension in the same time .. If I am surrounded with hard circumstances beyond my control, then I should only focus on having a cool mood and relax , because feeling tension will make the problems doubled ..
pleasing people is impossible and I should never be afraid from people more than my fear from god .
and finally, I realize now and every day, that my faith in god should always be number one, and when I put god in my priority, my life will be more than my expectations ..
Note: I have a convention to make, it is a special 19th birthday which I am going to remember, because my exams are coming, and I am studying during my midyear holiday as well as I got chicken pox , I have cute red little pimples , it' is funny people call me and say " really? Chicken pox?? We had it since we were two years old or so" hehe
Everything is special in my birthday !!!
Sunshine

2011 came ...

Happy new year everyone, I hope this year will be full of happiness, joy , and health to all of you, and for my Iraqi friends, I wish this year we can live in peace, may the bloodshed stop and we can all participate in rebuilding our beloved country , may the reunion we've been waiting for can be achieved this year, and our families, relatives and friends come back to Iraq . let's hope for a better tomorrow …
We celebrated the new year's evening in my dad uncle's house where we had a nice family meeting, with lots of food, deserts, we exchanged gifts , jokes, and spent such a lovely time together, but came home at 10 o'clock as it is not safe to leave in a late time..
*********************************
my laptop's recharger was damaged and it took me a while to find another one , that's why I couldn't publish lately ..
I was so busy with college and exams, and I was feeling tension because the college is in mess, many exams each day, sometimes they demand us to study subjects they didn't explain, they are very harsh ..
my friend says "at last we'll all graduate and become engineers, it doesn't matter first or second turn, we'll all be staying home engineers and can't find jobs" I am trying to convince myself with this opinion (except the jobs part) ,I'll just do what I can, no matter what will be the results ..
about two days ago, I couldn't reach college because of the closed roads, and I missed the laboratory experiment, I asked If I can do it in another day he said " if the professor allows you to do it in another time then do it, but I can't give you my approval otherwise, because I am not responsible of your personal circumstances " just like if I closed all the roads of mosul !! the professors didn't allow me to do it, each time he'd say come in another time, I kept going over and over till the day before my exam, I asked a girl to explain it for me, but It's hard to imagine what's going on without making It ..
I had my practical exams, on the first one, we choose numbers and each No. carry a different experiment , well, I had kind of bad luck, I got the no. of the only experiment I missed!!! I asked the professors to change it, but he said " no its your luck", I didn't do well..
In the second practical exam , I did well .. on the third exam I didn't , my computer didn't work, and they didn't give me extra time, the exam is only 30 minutes and the professors restarted my slow computer three times, and brought another mouse.
And in the programming lab. No one could answer the question !!
Now, we're having our mid-year holiday which last for 2 weeks, but our exams will be after the holiday !! it's crazy, because of the Shiite's ceremony they postponed our exams, I made a schedule and I am studying in my holiday and waking up at 6:45 am !! what a great holiday!
We need a holiday after this" holiday "! … I am doing my best, I study till 11 pm, just take a short nap, and my rests are about 5 minutes only ..
Just like every year I am going to spend my birthday studying!! But inshallah after my exams, I'll make a birthday party ..
Last week, I went to my best friend's birthday and we had fun, I love parties :D
And today , we we had dinner in a nice restaurant, we spent lovely time ..
I've been receiving many e-mails and comments from my dear readers asking about aunt rose, she's doing well, her husband took the PHD, and her daughters are doing excellent in school, my grandparents visited her recently and spent a lovely time in Dubai ..
I pray one day my aunt, and all of our other relatives come back to Iraq and we'll get together again just like the old days before the war, I didn't see her for six years..
Sunshine

He was kidnapped ... Part 2

As it was getting darker, my family members started to lose hope of seeing k again, my dad used to call us from their house every now and then and just say "nothing new", with every phone ring everyone stays silent and freeze.
the phone rang and this time my dad had new news, he told my mom that uncle k finally arrived and they're in their way to our house..
My mom, grandma, sister, brother and I were waiting in the street I was feeling anxious to see him, the adrenaline reached the highest level ever, I could barely stand up on my shaky legs, but this time, it was from excitement …
As we saw the flash lights of the car getting nearer and nearer, I can't explain in words the grateful I felt for god, finally, everyone can relief, or at least that's what I thought ..!!!
When uncle came out of the car he started to hug everyone and weep, I was looking around and everyone was crying, men, women, old and young, I didn't imagine the situation would be that emotional, .. K's daughters started to hug me and cry, I didn't have words to say except " everything is over now".
till now, I don't know how did I hold my tears when I hugged uncle K and his daughters, usually I can't hold my tears when I see someone crying, I think I was in shock.
I'll never forget the view when we got inside the house, K couldn't stand up to reach the sofa he sat on the floor with his daughters around him hugging and crying, this time I couldn't hold my tears..
K started to talk about the long days he spent when he was kidnapped, at that time, I realized that Iraq had reached the bottom, there's nothing worse than the situation we are living in, through my old posts you know about the hard times we went through during the war, and despite that I had hope for a better tomorrow, but the last event that happened to us made me feel desperate.
I know you're wondering how the national guards and police didn't help, what kind of chaos we're living in, we were told by the national guard's when dad denounced about the kidnapping " those people "the kidnapers" are serious , try to negotiate with them, and leave us your phone number" , they don't inspect houses or try to get evidence from witnesses, nor do anything, unfortunately they're fighting to survive not to protect us, all they care about is to stay alive and receive salaries..
We're living by miracles ..
I thought that finally we'll relief, but K's kidnapers gave him couple of weeks to allocate extra 220000$ , it was a shocking news ..
K and his big family stayed in our house for two weeks , when the period was getting over, we felt so afraid, we felt in danger too as they were staying in our house.. we've heard about people got kidnapped in the middle of the night inside their house , and kidnapers throw bombs to explode the house's doors, and such stories, it was like an endless nightmare .. everyday when I go to sleep I thank god that one day passed and we're still alive, and pray the next day we'll survive ..
I was too afraid to dare about thinking what would happen to all of us If K didn't give the money, there were weird faces around our house, and were watching us closely.. that made us in tension all the time, with every time the door nocks, or cars stop near the house uncle shouts everyone stay silent" ."
I kept going to college but couldn't study well, one day as I was in the lecture, the alarm pealed, all students and professors went outside the college, I asked what's going on but no one knew the truth, some said a suicidal will explode himself, others said there's a car bomb, while others said the terrorists will attack the college, the university of Mosul is a huge property contain all colleges and has 8 gates, so there are thousands of students who didn't know what was going on , the gates were closed, except two, so I phoned my relative who's a student but he didn't know what was going on, my parents told me to go with him , it's better not to stay alone, we walked for 2 hours till we reached the house, the roads were closed and there were a lot of police everywhere..
I reached home exhausted and my feet were killing me although I was wearing a flat shoes as usual ..
One Before the final day of interval:
K and his family decided to go to another relatives' house, and we traveled to Baghdad..
on the final day.
"they" called K and threatened to kill him and explode the house but k didn’t have more money neither all his relatives, after hours of negotiation, they accepted to lessen the amount , to 20000 $ and k had to pay !!…
I pray for the day we'll get rid of those terrorists and kidnapers..
To be continued …
Sunshine

He was kidnapped ... part 1.

I didn't publish my diary for such a long time (since 2/10/2010 ) , many things happened and I couldn't have time or concentrate to write a post, thanks for everyone E-mailed me to see how am I doing ..
In the first week 9-16/10 ..
On Friday , we had a family meeting in our house for lunch, we prepared many delicious Iraqi dishes, and we spent lovely time with our relatives ..
then on Saturday I was invited to my friend's wedding party and I spent a great time, and had so much fun, it was the greatest wedding I've ever attended, everything was perfect , they took care of the smallest details, and she looked like an angel, and I love her optimistic spirit and joy, it's such a great beginning to a new section of her life. I wish her and her husband all the happiness.
In the same week my family and I were invited to another party as our friend's son graduated from high school, we had so much fun, their son and I used to play musical keyboard together when we were kids,we share great memories, we don't visit them often because of the closed roads, and war made people busy with their lives, and many forgot about their social life such as visiting friends and doing something out of the daily routine.
I went to two parties and was invited to another two !! I thought four parties in one week, unbelievable, how lucky I am !!
The second week 16-23/10
I was planning to do some shopping on Wednesday preparing for my relatives' wedding.
I was in college talking with my friends about the parties, and how busy I feel as I have to study and go shopping !! I as I was talking I got an sms from my mom saying that my relative k was kidnapped and the kidnapers are asking for an imaginary ransom which he and all of the family can't cover (750000$)!! I had to read the message three times to realize what's she saying , I paused and needed time to realize the problem we're facing…
k is 60 years old with serious heart problem, and was very sick the day he got kidnapped ..
We had a freighting time, I couldn't concentrate in everything, I'd catch a book and realize after half an hour or so that I am reading another subject!
Whenever I find my grandma I see her praying and crying, and whenever I look for grandpa I see him in his room also crying, I tried to stay around grandpa and watch him, because his health wasn't well, he couldn't even walk alone ..
The situation in k's house was horrible, his 5 daughters were just weeping and crying, we thought we'll never see him, we don't own that much of money to release him . my dad and grandpa stayed with them every day, we were all praying at day and night.
Third week 23-30/10
The kidnapers at first gave us three days to prepare the money, or they'll kill him..
K's brother in law was the negotiator , as someone need to talk with kidnapers and try to lessen the money they ask for, and ask to extend the time we have.
Negotiating with outlaws is very difficult specially if they were savage and rapacious , they used to call and say how they're going to hurt him , or ask us to search for his dead body in a certain place, and such things.
One day left, and the negotiations didn't lead to any deal .. K's son asked us to collect as much money as we can, my dad and mom started to call our relatives even the far ones, and call our friends, and I started to E-mail our relatives abroad, and my mission during the kidnapping time was to talk with our relatives abroad who were so worried.
My grandpa knew "they" were asking for a lot of money, but he didn't understand how much does that equal in Iraqi dinars, well , I had to lie (white lie), I used to catch the calculator and pretend to use it and say that we are close to the money they want to make him feel better, and he believed that , but the truth is we weren't even close to less than quarter of the amount.
Each second pass maked our heart beat faster and faster, and the chance of losing uncle was getting higher, we were praying for a miracle..
Sometimes, the kidnapers would call, and other times they wouldn't , leaving everyone in tension, leaving the whole family sitting quietly waiting for a ring tone , and no one knew if uncle was still alive, or we're negotiating over a dead man (like my mom's uncle M, the negotiations lasted for 3 days, but he was dead, we found his body in the morgue)..
I was worried , I can't deny, but I had so much faith in god, he can save uncle from the hands of those killers , but it was hard not to be emotional .
I'd put my head on the pillow at night, and start to wonder, is k hungry? Are they beating him ? is he even alive ? will I hear his loud laugh again ? the whole family is standing with each other, supporting and comforting each other , but who's comforting him? And a lot of wonderings and tears , then I start to say "No" , this is not the faith I should have in such time, god is by his side, grading and protecting him .. it is like a battle between my heart and my mind, my heart wants me to cry and be weak, while my mind orders me to be strong and believe that god is going to protect us all.
When they called, the negotiator "N", told them we don't have that much of money, the kidnapers told him that they're going to kill K, N replied "may god bless his soul" , and ended the conversation , they didn't call for hours, what a long hours they were for us ..
It was a miracle when they accepted to lessen the amount of money, they had two choices either to kill K and get nothing, or release him and take whatever we have .. the amount still huge, but we could afford it , everyone participated even far relatives gave a lot of their saving ..
We paid the money, and The kidnappers said K will be released at noon..
My grandpa felt really glad, the family decided that it's better if k and his family come and spend few days in our house..
my mom, grandma, and I started to cook for lunch, we made many dishes feeling excited and anxious to see K, then we started to wait in the garage, the lunch time came and nothing happened, and we waited for hours and hours, at 5 pm we went inside the house , we didn't have desire to have lunch, grandpa went out and kept waiting in the garage.. the sun started to set, and it started to get darker, and night fall..
grandpa went to our neighbor they talked something , then grandpa came to the house took a blanket and torch with him and left, without saying a word, we knew he was going to search for him..
we've heard stories, kidnapers would take the money and kill the person, grandpa started to look for his brother's body in the streets, and garbage containers with his heart full of sorrow and feeling terrified that he may find the body of the brother he raised like his son , a series of old memories came to grandpa's mind, when his brother started to walk and grow up, get marry and have kids, grandpa was heartbroken, I'd never seen him in such misery .. my mom called Doctors she know but they assured her that they didn't receive a body with those descriptions in the morgue ..
the time was passing slowly this time, I sat on the stairs in our garage looking at my watch and feeling a strange shake in my legs , with every second our hearts were filling with more fear of what's going to happen next, is like we were in a horror movie and we want to reach the end quickly , will k come back safe? Or … I didn't want to think about another option, I was praying for god to give us and my grandpa strength to tolerate ..
To Be continued …
Sunshine